Jackie Mason sues Jews-for-Jesus

Mason sues Jews for Jesus over pamphlet - Yahoo! News

“Gee, I never realized Jackie Mason was a goy,” I thought to myself. Turns out, he’s not. And now he’s suing Jews for Jesus for implying he is. Just think how much business he’d lose if people suddenly started think his schtick wasn’t legit. No, Jacke Mason is a Jew, and he’s got the bris to prove it.

Well, it seems there’s a bit of confusion in the basic terminology. All in good fun, says JFJ . They claim to be Judiaic, so anyone who’s a Jew is more than welcome in their club. But they worship Christ as the Messiah, hence the “for Jesus” part of their name. Now, most people would probably say that makes them Christian. But not these folks. They’re up there with the Scientologists in the “misleading descriptions” hall of fame.

Of course, I don’t really care what anyone believes or even what they call themselves, as long as people act ethically and responsibly towards others. And there’s the rub. JFJ uses their proclaimed Judiasm as a way to convert to Christ all those Jews who like being “Jewish” but want a better fit into mainstream culture. The conversion is key. A Jew for Jesus who is not for Jesus is just a Jew.

It’s marketing. And like the PATRIOT act and the Death Tax, it’s very modern in its approach to spin.

It makes me think I might do well starting my own new religion called “Eternal Happiness For Less.” My target demographic would be anyone who wants eternal happiness for less. Spiritual and emotional development is just too hard. We’re very busy people. So just tell us what to do, who to vote for and who to kill. And really, as long as I pay my dues, just keep telling me I’m saved. Okay? Great.

So now that that’s solved, what other modern religions should we start? How about:

Buddhists for Imperialism
Lutherans for Papal Supremacy
Protestants of the Golden Madona
Catholics for Communism
Muslims for Mitzvas
Druids for Deforestation
Universalists for Nothing
Atheists for Evangelism
_{and, of course:}
Fundamentalists for Peace